(satire - probably)

Ronseal - the makers of wood stains and preservatives - has complained to the Advertising Standards Authority after a leading UK politician compared its products to a toxic, slippery coalition which can be fatal even in small doses.

The UK manufacturer made the complaint after a senior Conservative politician, Mr David Cameron, claimed at a press conference on Monday that Ronseal products were similar to a poisonous sludge he was using to whitewash and cover-up bad smells and stains known as 'Coalition Politics'.